6 Unexpected Things I’ve Had to Learn as a Widow

widow, unclog a toilet

I’m not a housewife. So when my husband passed, it wasn’t an income I had to figure out how to produce. But there were a number of unexpected things that I did have to figure out on my own.

1) How to Unclog a Toilet

This would normally be a choir for my late husband, but without him I suddenly needed to figure out why my toilet wasn’t flushing properly. I could’ve just called a plumber, but I decided I would make a full-fledged attempt at unclogging it myself. I went down to the local hardware store and told them I needed a toilet snake. And walla!, I snake my toilet, probably improperly since I had no familiarity with a toilet snake, but it worked and my toilet was fixed.

2) How to Use a Power Drill

When my husband died, my creativity was awakened (probably as a way to distract myself from the grief). I suddenly wanted to change everything in my house, and couldn’t wait to get my hands on the drill to make my reno dreams come true. I had no idea that using a power drill could be that frustrating. I wasn’t strong enough to drill through studs. I had trouble putting adequate pressure on the drill to force the screw to turn. It was a mess, and I imagined my dear husband having a good laugh in heaven over my frustrations.

3) How to Trust Other Men

I didn’t have to worry about trusting other men because that was my husband’s domain. Whether it was a male neighbor or a electrician, my husband would assess the character of these men. Now suddenly, I’m alone stranded on the side of a highway, and I have to determine whether the man who pulls up to assist is trustworthy. I have to assess whether a car mechanic is attempting to defraud me. I will soon have to assess whether a man is trustworthy enough to bring around my son.

4) How to Start Big Machines

Pulling the cords to start these kinds of machines is always the most frustrating part for me. So I actually had to ask my brother-in-law to give me a lesson on how to start the weedeater. I wrote meticulous notes and was able to duplicate the process eventually.

5) How to Assert Myself

I can no longer hide behind the intimidating demeanor of my husband. Previously, if there was an issue, I’d let my husband deal with it. Whether that issue be cursing out the cable company, or warding off a threat. Now I can no longer hide behind his intimidating demeanor; I have to fend for myself. Since I’m naturally quite shy, being assertive is not always easy. But what has helped me is his death, if I can go through that, I can deal with anything.

6) How to Log On

After I lost my husband, I realized I needed access to his online accounts. I needed to know what was in his bank account. I needed to turn on his computer. I needed to update his Xbox Live subscription. Some accounts, I could figure out on my own. I knew his username and password-picking patterns. But there were some accounts including his bank account and main email address that I couldn’t successfully crack.

Brandy - The Mother

Hi, I am Brandy and I am "the mother." I enjoy being a mother, friend, and playmate to my son.

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