It was not long ago, that I experienced a sudden and tragic loss. But it was very quickly thereafter that I began to trust the universe more rather than less.
I’ve always been very protective of my child. I don’t like for him to go next door or even outside without my watchful eye. My immediate thoughts are everyone in the world is potentially sick and evil, and they will hurt my child.
Being an overprotective parent shows that you have an active interest in keeping your child safe, and removing the burden of the world from their shoulders. Both of these points are true and positive, but part of being over-protective is having a constant fear and mistrust of others, a fear and mistrust that you are passing onto your child. That mistrust, if not overcome, could potentially inhibit your child throughout their life.
I understand now that my over-protectiveness was not allowing my son to live his fullest life, and rise to his fullest potential. He’s busy being cautious and weary of the world. Here is some great information to deal with the fear and anxiety that comes with being an overprotective parent:
What you can do when you are caught in the grip of fear and anxiety.
- When you are aware of negative thoughts:
- Turn the negative thought to a neutral or positive statement. “I can trust the people I know. I can trust myself to do the best I can in the moment. I can make good choices and do what I can with the information I have.”
- Develop a mantra: “Life has risks, I can choose to take reasonable risks so I can fulfill my dreams and live my life.
- Avoiding your fears lowers your self-esteem and sense of worth. When you don’t trust yourself to be able to deal with your fears, you never quite feel safe. When you allow your anticipated fear of the future – anxiety – to keep you from doing what you want, you don’t master life’s lessons.
- When the world seems scary and dangerous, remember:
- Fear is self-doubt and destroys your confidence. Giving in to fears makes life less safe, as you do NOT learn what you are capable of doing. If a parent never allows a child to do things for her or himself, then the child does not learn what he or she is capable of doing. When you live in fear, you bring upon yourself the losses you dread and keep yourself from growing.
- Fear lets you know there MAY be danger. Recognize the danger and adapt to it. You only get to know a risk when you take it and taking the risk builds self-confidence.
- Stretch yourself and take a small step into doing what you are afraid of, become comfortable with that step, and then take another step. Keep stepping into your fear and you will learn what you can do when you face your fears.
- Breathe deeply 3 times (in through your nose and slowly out your mouth) and repeat your mantra for strength and courage when you face your fears.
- It is important to NOT allow your fears to keep you from living your life fully. Most accidents occur within 25 miles of home. Going to the store for milk is more risky than going on your dream vacation and flying to get there. An avoided risk is an experience unknown forever
More info: NIU.edu