Meet the Neighbors: Helping My Shy Child

Foreward: It was my wish that K be born in August. For this month is the time of the “Leo”– the ultimate extrovert. I’m a Cancer and I’ve depended upon Leos my entire life to bring me out of my shell. I don’t talk much, but they talk too much. I’m shy around new people, but they are not shy at all. They are the life of the party, and I’m trying to get out of going to the party. As a Cancer child, life was a bit lonely. Although people literally sucked the life out of me and I enjoyed time alone, I always wished I could be more sociable. Even as an adult, I struggle to bring new people into my life because I’m so introverted. I even see how it affects my ability to move forward in the workplace. I didn’t want my child to have any of these struggles, so the simplest solution was to have a Leo child. Well I did, but he still ended up introverted like I am. It just goes to show that genetics, not time of birth, has a big hand in forming personality. 

Lately, when I talk to K about starting school and meeting new friends, I meet an unexpected response.

“When you start school, you will make new friends. Don’t you want someone to play with?” I ask.

“No, I can do it myself,” K responds. By “do it myself” he is trying to tell me that he can play by himself and doesn’t have any desire to meet new friends. 

It actually makes me kind of sad. I want him to have an active social life, and have great friends. But he is very hesitant and seems afraid to socialize. When we go to the park, if there are too many kids there he wants to go home. He says, “kids scare me.” Even though the kids aren’t bothering him, he still seems intimidated by their very presence. Being an introverted person, I understand what he is feeling even though he can’t express it. People literally strip him of energy. Being around kids is tiring for him, even though he has more than enough energy to go around. 

Just a couple days ago our new neighbors moved in. They have a 7-year-old and 4-year-old. I got K dressed and walked him over to meet the new neighbors. The 7-year-old boy was very-friendly. He simply asked, “Do you want to be friends?” and extended his hand to K. Still feeling shy, K smiled, shock his hand and responded “Yes.” The 4-year-old girl seemed very-friendly as well. I hope that her and K can become friends.

I held K’s hand and walked him back home. “See meeting new friends wasn’t so hard.” He looked happy and proud of himself. “Did you like those kids?” I asked. 

He smiled and softly said, “Yes.” 

I realize that my shy child is going to need a lot of help from me. I will need to hold his hand through introductions until he becomes more confident. My hope is that he will learn how to be successfully introverted in an extroverted world. 

 

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Brandy - The Mother

Hi, I am Brandy and I am "the mother." I enjoy being a mother, friend, and playmate to my son.

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4 Responses

  1. You’re such a great mom. Introverts living in an extrovert world is tough, but as you’ve pointed out, it can be done. And, it can be done, while still staying true to the introvert’s nature. I loved this post :-).

  1. April 9, 2015

    […] Meet the Neighbors: Helping My Shy Child […]

  2. April 9, 2016

    […] Meet the Neighbors: Helping My Shy Child […]

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