Names for Black Boys & Girls That Went Too Far!

worst-baby-names
Black people have a tendency to get a bit creative with names. Sometimes too creative!

We invented the ‘weird celeb baby name’ trend before it was a thing, and trumped it! I have a friend who named his son “Notorious.” WTF? It’s wonderful to desire a unique name for a child, a name that symbolizes greatness. But some of us have given our children names they can’t live up to, won’t live up to, or in some cases, unfortunately will live up to.

Here is a sample of names given to Black children that went a little too far. Some range from down-right ghetto to comical, while others are a little out there but not too bad. Some standouts include Velveeta, Shampaign, and Courvoisier.

 

VelveetaLike the cheese!
RolexWe hoped he lived up to this name!
Daytona
London
Rome
China
Japan
Andropolis
Bose Somebody loved their stereo system!
Avon
Chanel
Courvoisier I guess I can’t talk my name is Brandy!
Lexus
Miata – Is that even a nice car?
Ferrari
Amp
Nissan
Mercedes
Scooter
Ikea
Be Cautious – Uhh?
Chardonnay 
Shampaign – At least they changed the spelling. 
Aquafina
Nucleus
Psyche – As in ‘ward’?
Atari 
Armani
Brooklyn
Sirloin – Did you intend for him to be eaten?
Taco – Is he half-Mexican?
Proverb
Lottery – Wishful thinking!
Pepsi
Lavoris
Dentyl
Yashica
Avis
Delmonte
Dijon
Bimbo – Say it so! Hopefully she didn’t live up to this.
Princess King – Keeping it gender-neutral.
Sultan
Pharisee
Laker
La’Nokia – We really need to stop adding ‘La’ in front of everything!
Royal
Pasha
Winsome
Justice
Majestic
Passion
Luscious
Peerless
Ronald McDonald – Because this food is killing us!?
Milton Bradley – Do you love board games?
Tan White
Monsanto
Lieutenant
General
Lawyer
Panda
Yak
Tack
Earthwind – Somebody loves that 70s music! 

Black folks have another problem when picking out baby names. Some of us try so hard to be different that we create names that no one else on Earth, including your child, will be able to pronounce. Here are some hard too pronounce Black baby names:

Asjha
Dekekisha
Jauqula
Schmoca
Tnonealyer
Juaqula
Markeithisia

Then we have moms that select names that are completely over the top:

Lemonjello and Orangejello (they were twins)
Poonie
Chakowby
Controndra
Tyquesta
InFini (T.I. must have gotten the rest of this name!)
Dontarrious

Brandy - The Mother

Hi, I am Brandy and I am "the mother." I enjoy being a mother, friend, and playmate to my son.

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7 Responses

  1. Saddiq says:

    My son used to have a classmate in elementary school and her name was Treasure Fortune..I kid you not!!

  2. Robert says:

    La-a pronounced Ladasha. The school records dept. had a time with this one.

  3. matt says:

    Dont forget “Latrina”

  4. DaantjeKnows says:

    I (White and Dutch) just watched an early morning program on TLC “say yes to the dress” where a black woman, 2 of her sisters and 4 girlfriends are trying to find out which dress is the best. But I don’t care, it’s the names! THE NAMES! I can’t stop laughing when they all got introduced. There’s a Laqueeshia, Shondianayé, La’tinyahsha, Shiquantonya, Brishónfintayee and a Courtney. What did they do to deserve over the top names like this? And, serious, I thought, before today, that these silly names where for fun and not on their birth certificate. How naïve I was…

  5. Kosaku says:

    Miata is an actual Japaese name

  6. Wojtec says:

    Fedex names their airplanes after the children of employees. Among many others, “Zebra-Delta” is a real name….

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